Monday, March 14, 2005

Midterms are upon us

Apologies to the readership for the long delay of postings - midterms are upon most of us and I am studying....err... procrastinating my butt off for about the next six more days or so. Tis' a tiresome activity indeed. Feel free to post anything of interest in the comments section, and hopefully I'll be able to respond as frequently as I can over the course of this period. Best of luck to all..remember, procrastination is the key to success. Just don't tell my mom I said that.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Writer's Block

It's 1:45 am and I've been pacing around the halls of my dorm for about 2 hours now wondering what the heck to write about. I've got nothing. Sorry. Only two things really came to mind: 1) Why do Israeli's insist on going "ehmmmm" while the rest of the world says "ummmm"? Never quite understood this. 2) Is it possible for someone like me to have Writer's Block? I mean, does it have to be a professional writer, or can it pertain to a casual writer as well? I mean, we would never say that Kelvin Cato got a "shooter's roll" if he rimmed in a jumpshot, right? Or that Clint Eastwood had "Beginner’s Luck" on his Academy Award last night. So where do we draw the line on this exactly? Someone help me out a little here.

Therefore, I guess we'll just have to talk about the snow some more. Tonight I must have received at least 7-10 of those stupid weather bug alerts (truly the most annoying sound you'll ever hear, outside of the morning alarm for sure). Don't they have to close school then? From now on we should impose the
'7-10 alerts' rule. Anyhow, it doesn't effect me that much being that I only have one class tomorrow (yayyyy 13 credits!). But everyone should know that I have come to have a "mutual respect" with the snow. The last time I had a "mutual respect" was in yeshiva in Israel - as my Rebbe so eloquently stated, "I give shiur. And you don't go." Somehow, it worked well for us.

In the sports world, my Rockets continued their patented "One step forward, two steps back" approach to winning. I guess they have one of those mutual respect type things going on as well. I saw three boxing movies in the past 48 hours. Rocky IV (roman numerals somehow make it look much more important), which was so inspiring it made me actually think about going to the gym. But don’t worry, I didn't move. Instead, I followed it up with Rocky V, and as ESPN's Bill Simmons likes to say "we should try and pretend like it never happened". Not long after the Oscars, I watched Million Dollar Baby to see what all the fuss was about.....and I'm still trying to understand what all the fuss was about.

OK it's been about 500 words. That has to be categorical violation of Writer's Block criteria doesn't it? Well I'm tired now anyhow. Later dudes.

Thursday, February 24, 2005


Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone for their participation in the now infamous poll on the left-hand side of your page. Time to shore up some very valid concerns: 1) No, I do not own more than one vote. I wish I did, but the service only allows the creator of such polls a singular vote. So the breakdown of percentages reflect only what the readership intends 2) To answer a frequently asked question - my vote went to the 'creative writing ability', I mean, c'mon. If I didn't answer that, why would I continue to do this stuff every other night anyhow? 3) A valuable gem of advice, from me to you: If you ever are feeling down, make a survey such as I did with answers that could only make you feel better. After sifting through all the hate emails ("How brazen are you!?", "You egotistical pig!", "Why didn't we get the none of the above option?!?"), I'm feeling pretty good right now considering that as of 11:36 pm, 34% of you think I'm hot. Not too shabby. Props to the poll.

Sometimes we are just on the short end of things. Consider my luck, for example: After it eventually stopped snowing (please excuse my French) a couple days ago, I decided to write about my hatred for the little white crystal formations. So what happens next? Of course, it begins to snow again. It's like clockwork. Reminds me of the time I drove four hours to sit next to my brother for game 7 of last year's NLCS - and the Astros lost, emphatically mind you. And the time my fabled Titans finally reached the Super Bowl after a 40 year absence (yes, just like the Jews in the desert), except they actually never reached the promise land, falling literally just one yard short. Some may call these occurrences random and natural. But eventually it all just keeps piling up and up, like the friggin snow, until your stuck with no where to go.

Hadn't seen the girlfriend in a week in a half. Hitherto (gotta love that word..what does it mean though??), I tried to be a great significant other so I planned out a very romantic evening. What ended up happening: I watched The Italian Job with a few overweight YU guys, myself not-withstanding, and she caught up on some King of Queens reruns at home before turning in early. Sometimes it's just not your day. That being said, I did get to run through the isles of the sefarim sale to be stopped by a complete stranger (seemingly) holding an Avraham Fried CD - Her: "Hey Jason!" Me: Heyyyy..." Her: "Remember, 10th grade, Miami Shabbaton, Maya Tansky!" Me: " are you..?" Alert: The second best thing to making a poll with only praiseworthy answers is having a complete stranger remember exactly who you are and exactly where they met you while you just nod your head and smile. Seriously, it's a winner. The only better happenstance is finding a 10$ bill in your old jeans pocket once a year rather than those stupid notebook paper edges. Effing Five-Star.

But I don't want anyone to worry about me. I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face seeing that tomorrow’s forecast entails "Highs in the lower 30s. North winds 10 to 20 mph...becoming northwest 5 to 10 mph in the afternoon" next to a picture of a sun behind a little cloud. Maybe I should just change my alarm ringer from "Scotty Doesn't Know" to the Beatles "Here Comes the Sun". Hey, it might just change my luck. But if not, I've always got the poll results to lean on. Have an awesome Shabbos.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

"I've been ready for this my whole life."

How much would I give to hear them say, "Jason!......Jason!.........Jason!"

Living an Uncultured Life

Back in the saddle, after a few days off. Time to review what has happened since I last communicated with ya’ll:

  • Friday: For any Jewish college student, as much as we look forward to it, this has to be the most boring day of the week. We wake up at the 10:30-12:00 range (I was told everyone else does, at least) to find out that we don't really have enough time to do something fun and exciting as Shabbos is only a few hours away. But at the same time, there's still five plus hours till it comes in, so what the heck are we supposed to do sitting in our rooms until then? Needless to say, I can't remember what I did during those hours, but I can bet it wasn't anything productive.

  • Shabbos. Or Saturday, depending on how frum you are: Brother and sister-in-law made the trek into NY from Silver Spring (btw..can you believe they call them 'Silver Springers'!? Now that is ridiculous) for the extended weekend. Presidents day huh - If I was the President, I would wake up every day thinking "I am the man!!", so why is there a singular day for him anyhow? Explanation of this would be great guys, thank you. (and I don't wanna hear any of that garbage about remembering ex-presidents, their time in the limelight is up. Especially if they were democrats.)

  • Sunday: I wake up every Sunday with a very ambivalent state of mind; on one hand it's Sunday - there's no school, and we have the whole day to do whatever we please. But at the same time, Monday is just one day away, so our happiness is somewhat ebbed by this evil fact. Unfortunately, I got stuck in insane traffic for about 3 hours over the afternoon on the way to lunch because the whole world needs to see a bunch of Orange gates in Central Park. I had a conversation with one of my very good friends from a much more intellectual college than I attend about this that went as follows: Jason - "Hey dude what’s up?", Friend - "Oh, not much, gonna go see 'The Gates' soon in the park.", Jason - "Ah I passed them the other day, what a waste of time.", Friend - "Uch, your so uncultured." Uncultured? I am no artist, and I never really intend to be one, but my g-d its just a bunch of Orange metal in a zig zag - in my view, it actually screws up the beauty of the one large patch of grass in all of New York City.

  • Evil Monday: Sunday night I sat staring at my window until the early hours of Monday morning praying on both knees with my hands raised high above that the snow would continue to pile up and pile up. Snow amazes me more than a lot of things in the world, maybe because I'm from a place where snow goes to hell. My question that I pondered for a while was this; what is the purpose of snow? (and they call me uncultured - that's the most artsy fartsy sort of question imaginable) Seriously though, we all can understand rain, even though it can get quite annoying when it only rains when our mother's tell us to bring a coat or umbrella and we decline "Mom, it's sunny outside, what are you saying!?". You just hate that . But back to the point, there is absolutely no single purpose for snow. It's pretty, for about an hour, until your realize that the next morning you have to walk in that slush and all the white salty stuff they pour on the street gets stuck in your shoe until the end of time. To make a long story short, the snow ended, and school began. Such a travesty.

Now that we're all caught up, I'd like to end by letting everyone know that this month's Stern College newspaper The Observer had a total of about 15 pages. Seven of those pages were headed under Fashion Trends. As the Urban shirt so wisely claims, "Everyone loves a Jewish girl." Gotta go take a blood pressure pill, I'm outta here.

Friday, February 18, 2005

1918 or Forever

I have to apologize, I just feel a little bit different tonight. Two really great things happened today; Pitchers and Catchers reported to Sping Training (for those uninformed ladies out there--its the 'unofficial' start of the new Baseball calendar), and I had a truly amazing night with the girlfriend. So if the mood tonight is changed from humorous to sentimental, I apologize. My night reminded me of something which most of us are quite familiar with, but can never quite be revisited enough:

WILL: When did you know she was the one?
SEAN: October 21, 1975. Game six of the World Series. Biggest game in Red Sox history, Me and my friends slept out on the sidewalk all night to get tickets. We were sitting in a bar waiting for the game to start and in walks this girl. What a game that was. Tie game in the bottom of the tenth inning, in steps Carlton Fisk, hit a long fly ball down the left field line. Thirty-five thousand fans on their feet, screamin' at the ball to stay fair. Fisk is runnin' up the baseline, wavin' at the ball like a madman. It hits the foul pole, home run. Thirty-five thousand people went crazy. And I wasn't one of them.
WILL: Where were you?
SEAN: I was havin' a drink with my future wife.
WILL: You missed Pudge Fisk's homerun to have a drink with a woman you had never met?
SEAN: That's right.
WILL: So wait a minute. The Red Sox haven't won a World Series since nineteen eighteen, you slept out for tickets, games gonna start in twenty minutes, in walks a girl you never seen before, and you give your ticket away?
SEAN: You should have seen this girl. She lit up the room.
WILL: I don't care if Helen of Troy walked into that bar! That's game six of the World Series!
(Sean smiles.)
WILL (cont'd): And what kind of friends are these? They let you get away with that?
SEAN: I just slid my ticket across the table and said "sorry fellas, I gotta go see about a girl."
WILL: "I gotta go see about a girl"? What did they say?
SEAN: They could see that I meant it.
WILL: You're kiddin' me.
SEAN: No Will, I'm not kiddin' you. If I had gone to see that game I'd be in here talkin' about a girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago. And how I always regretted not goin' over there and talkin' to her. I don't regret the eighteen years we were married. I don't regret givin' up couseling for six years when she got sick. I don't regret being by her side for the last two years when things got real bad. And I sure as Hell don't regret missing that damn game.
(A beat. Will is impressed.)
WILL: Would have been nice to catch that game though.
SEAN: Well hell, I didn't know Pudge was gonna hit the home run!!

I guess this came across my mind tonight because as happy as I was about the pitchers and catchers reporting (and anyone who knows anything about me knows the exuberance I felt), not for even a millisecond did I think about it during my time with the gilfriend. I'm not saying this to try to make anyone think any higher of me, I may be the farthest person away from being called a Tzaddik that I know - but simply to reiterate to myself and to everyone out there; If you've got something that you love dearly, hold onto it and never let it go - because everything else is just a damn game anyhow. Layla Tov.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Random Thoughts....

Excited as I was to write a new "Space For Losers Who Have Too Much Time On Their Hands" (aka blog, for those of you who are new to the site) tonight to be critiqued and analyzed by all, I truly did not know to write about. Being that I still have zero clue, I have decided to just share with you everything that passed through my 6 7/8'' size head over the course of the day. Well, not everything actually, but anything of value for sure.

  • I was told the rooms in YU have 3 walls of the same solid color, and one of a differnent solid color, as a deterent to possible suicide attempts (this being the theory that a person will go insane if everything is always the same dull rountine throughout one's life) - if this is true, how the heck did we get here anyhow? I've never been to a single bedroom of any of my friends who actually have one wall painted a totally different color from the other three . ONLY in YU. If someone can expain this matter to me, I'd really appreciate the help.
  • Entemen's Star Puff Donuts - One of Hashem's greatest gifts to humanity. Realizing the divinity of the item, I decided to check the label to see what they actually were made out of. The first thing that I blurted out loud was "We should rename this section the Lack of Nutritional Facts"
  • There are 15 ppl in my Literature class, and I was told that 6 of them were English majors. Knowing absolutely nothing about them beyond that, I can virtually promise, without a shadow of doubt, that I can tell you which they are. Something about English majors, they're like aliens. They just look like a different breed. Maybe their index fingers light up bright-red also, who knows. Next time I'll bring my bicycle to class to see what happens.
  • For those of you not from around here: Not joking, it's been dark in NY today since 2:45 pm. And the strange thing about this? It's totally not out of the norm. How in the world did roughly 12 million ppl populate this forsaken place??
  • Great story of the day - Jason, "Guys, lets go to Starbucks or something." Friend, "OK, I think I'll get the Chai-Tea." Jason, "Hey, I think I just dropped that PE class last week!" Friend, "That's Tai-Chi, you idiot." Anyone else find it REALLY WEIRD that an All-American caffeinated drink sounds eerily similar to an ancient Koren meditational practice? What an amazing world we live in indeed.
  • One last thing, couldn't get over this: I walked into the Main Bais Medrash today, and I instantly found a little yellow stick -'em attatched to the bottom of my shoe; don't worry, there was a BS''D attatched on the upper right hand corner of the FREAKIN YELLOW STICK'em. Gotta love the Yeshivish guys.
That's all I got for tonight guys, my bed is calling me but I don't think I'll answer it for a couple more hours at minimum. As we say back home in Tejas, I'll catch ya'll a little later. I'm out.

A day in the life...

8:45 am : Turn off the scotty doesn't know alarm..why is the phone so friggin far away from my bed??

8:55 : zzzzz...."scotty doesn't know, that fiona and me.....scotty doesn't know, scotty doesn't know"..........zzzz......

1:32 pm : Rolled out of bed. Go to caf for pizza (whole wheat or white..the hardest desicion of my day, EVERY DAY...what can I say, I go to YU, give me some slack.)

2:44: Really dont remember so well, but I think it had something to do with either,, or, just to venture an educated assumption. Trust me on this one.

3:12ish : Roomate Jake returns from his all-important interview with a financial firm; sadly, the first and only thing he had to say was,"caf food at Stern on 34th tasted just a crappy as ours does"--- good to know Jake, good to know.

4:12 : 3 minutes to make a desicion on whether to go to Forensic Economic class or not..(just say that over one more time in your head, "Forensic Economics"...think I really wanna go?)

4:15 : (jason is away at 4:15 pm)

5:34 : (jason has returned at 5:34 pm) Needless to say, I went to class. Let me tell you something - terrible desicion. Couldn't follow one thing the foreign-born professor had to say, and all I was actually thinking about was the Rocket's starting lineups from 1992 thru 2005, and I have the ripped out notebook paper as proof. And btw, don't you hate when all those stupid little peices of paper from the edge of your notebook get stuck on the rest of the pages and you put the scraps in ur pocket quickly, only to find them 2 weeks later when your outside the community's Eruv on Shabbos? Five-Star and Mead are for sure joining OJ and Dan Miceli in the lowest level of hell.

9:04 : I got caught up doing like 4 things in the past little was so exciting having things to do, totally out of the normal routine of a Jason day. I had dinner with a friend in the caf here (I still don't beleive Jake, I must say..its impossible) followed by going to the meat market..errr sorry I meant sefarim sale...and then I, get ready for this one ladies and 'gents, went to the library. No, the apocolypse hasn't come. I just had to print out something (now is your cue for the collective sigh...ahh..feel better?)

10:32 : Just got off the phone with the girlfriend. Everything is just fine, thank the good lord. Next.

11:56 : .....scotty doesnt know, scotty doesnt know......Please, please, please, I beg of someone in the comments section to stick something new in my size 6 7/8 head. (I must mention btw that having a head that size is SO much kewler than having a size 7 isn't it..gotta love the 0.125 inch subtraction of skin, props to G-d.) To conclude today, since in 4 minutes it will officially be the starting point of tommorow's blog (a really stupid word, can't we rename these things something like "Space For Losers Who Have Too Much Time On Their Hands"?) I would like to say its been a really weird day, and I can't wait for the next one. And the Rockets won, by a lot. See, I knew something was a bit off. Gnite.